In The Tubing

The maddest, baddest, craziest drinking town I’ve ever had the pleasure of passing through. That was how I described Vang Vieng in my journal notes for writing this blog. And even a couple of months down the line I stand by that initial assessment. It is also the most fun you can have with an inner tube, a bunch of (near) strangers and (at least some of) your clothes on! I’ve partied in a lot of places, down more years than I care to remember, but I can’t remember a time when it’s been more hardcore than in Vang Vieng. It’s that kind of place. It’s also the kind of place you will have more laughs than you can imagine, where you will make and cement friendships for life and also probably be very relieved to leave. In fact if you leave with your mind, body and soul roughly intact you’ve done pretty well out of this picturesque little corner of Laos.

If you haven’t heard of Vang Vieng, firstly, where have you been? It has been a must do spot on the backpacker South East Asia circuit for a number of years. People principally come to party and go tubing. If you’ve not heard of tubing, imagine a gently flowing river surrounded by huge monolithic rock formations on all sides. Then imagine the bluest sky, not a cloud to be seen and the sun beating down. Then add a string of basic bars on both sides of the river bank. Then imagine hundreds of chilled out party people up for a good time. Put them in massive rubber tubes, float them down the river with a beer in hand and then have a local pull them in when a bar takes their fancy. Sounds good doesn’t it? Well multiply that idea by about ten and you’re probably not even coming close to imagining how good a time you can have tubing in Vang Vieng!

You can tube from late morning until around 5.30pm, as you need to get your rental tube back to town by 6pm. While the afternoon is a party, it can be a pretty chilled out affair. Hammocks are available in some bars and you watch your fellow tubers float on by, while you gently rock in the sunshine. It can also be very messy as the local Tiger whiskey and ‘lao lao’ (rice wine) are handed out in free shots liberally. You don’t need a tube to enjoy yourself on the river and so on the first day, which was also our friend Emma’s 30th birthday, we didn’t bother with tubes. We had a big group that we had been growing over the previous few days. As well as the birthday girl we had Laura and Babs who travelled over from Hanoi with me. We also had the party fiends Mark & Tania, their ‘handler’ Jorge and his friend (soon to be all our friend!) Nic. Over the course of the next day we’d also add the English trio of Gina, Jo and Lucy and Tonje (who was looking a little lost one day we were hiring tubes and was immediately adopted by Jorge and given the new name of Daphne!). Collectively we christened the group the EBC (Emma’s Birthday Crew) and much body graffiti and general nonsense ensued. The following 2 days we did get tubes and it was definitely the icing on the cake. Two very happy days. Over all 3 days I had an absolute blast, met some amazing people and had a lot of laughs. I invented an alter ego – Pablo Massos, born in Buenos Aires to Scottish parents (hence my appalling grasp of Spanish) and unbelievably people seemed to go with it. I wore an Argentina football top so that must have made it more authentic. Weeks later I was bumping into people still referring to me as Pablo!

After 3 days of straight all day drinking in the sun funny things can happen to a bloke. On the 3rd night myself and Jorge (a Californian dude who is an absolute legend) decided staying in town longer was a must. We hatched a plan to find jobs and then stay for another week. It took us less than an hour to find some work for a bar. It wasn’t work in the traditional sense, but we would be given a roof over our head, food and all the booze we could drink. Which when you’re travelling is pretty much all you require. We shook hands on it and went back to partying. I awoke the next morning still drunk and ready to tube again. By the time I started to sober up I realised that probably wasn’t a very good idea for my health. I caught up with Jorge and he looked about as good as I felt. We both quickly made the decision that we wouldn’t be reporting for work. Instead we booked tickets to escape! We spent the rest of the day sweating it out, watching a lot of Friends and playing the worst match of pool in the world. Ever.

Beyond that it is probably best if the rest of what occurred stays under wraps. The old maxim ‘what goes on tour, stays on tour’ is very appropriate. Better for all concerned I reckon!

Today’s tune of the day is one that was played as we chilled out in hammocks on one of those blissful days. The first suggestion to come was this. And it is a classic. This is Mr Jones by Counting Crows:

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